Story Time!

if you read this whole thing... you're literally too good haha oh my goodness! aboutttt a year and a 1/2 ago wow wow wow... i was REALLY just trying to figure out WHERE and WHAT in the world i was supposed to do next. a mission? college? you know, the time period you THINK is a mid-life chrisis figuring it all out right after highschool haha oh i got SO good at the fake smile - answering with "i'm just going to college!" whenever someone asked what my plans were after highschool using that answer HOPING to avoid more questions, hoping becauseeeee that was really only the beginning of about 10 more before they eventually figured out i had ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what i was going to do next SO how in the world DO you figure it out? sometimes, you just have to do it... AND SOMETIMES OHHH IT FAILS BIG TIME. have you ever had a plan that you were SO pumped for because it was gonna be SO good? haha yikesss we all know thats the PERFECT opportunity for God to step in and take us a WHOLE different direction its kinda fun sometimes !! part 1 - i decided to finally figure out what my answer to the question of what in the world my plans were... school! a mission... if i'm being completely honest () was the last thing i would've chosen as an answer. SOOO i had school lined up and somewhere to live! ready to go! but for SOME reason decided not to go! It justttt didnt feel right which led to getting in a pretty big car accident aka more like i REALLY just needed something big for him to get my attention/ life on the right track haha all leading of course to JUST! SUBMITTING! THE PAPERS! lifes turn #1 ! a mission i didnt plan on serving ! of COURSE everything worked out perfectly starting the papers, submitting them and before i knew it.. at the MTC absolutely TERRFIED because holy cow i had absolutely NO clue what i had just signed up for. all i knew was that the gospel of jesus christ, was THE ONLY thing that pulled me out of a slump that nothing else could sooo it was only right to go share it with EVERYSINGLE PERSON in OHIO i also couldn't really ignore the big hit he just gave me ! oh. my. goodness. my mission... the OHIO CINCINNATI MISSION... i promise I could talk about my mission for DAYS on end but TRYING to keep it short, you know what's SO amazing? while serving a mission, i was the happiest i have EVER been! of course! i LITERALLY GOT TO WATCH LIVES, FAMILIES, ETERNITIES, CHANGE BECAUSE OF the greatest gift EVER given! (the gospel obviously ! ) like how is that NOT the most rewarding, amazing thing EVER?! i got to read the most AMAZING BOOK (the book of mormon ) with SO many different people, i got to PRAY with everyone! I got to TESTIFY WHENEVER AND WHEREVER I POSSIBLY COULD! learning to LOVE EVERYSINGLE PERSON I MET! making LIFELONG friends who are THE most amazing disciples of christ, getting blessed with the absolute BEST companions and oh SO much more for 9 whole months! how could I NOT be SO IMMENSELY HAPPY and PROUD to wear christ's name on my chest everyday! my mission goal was at LEAST to get HALFWAY (after the goals of, make it to the MTC, make it to the field, make it to 3 months, 6, etc. haha) ... ON my 9 month mark, i got a call that oh my goodness was nottttt in my plan! haha THE call that i was terrified to recieve my whole mission. that i was getting sent home because i guess a resting heart rate of 39 bpm, leaving the possibility of a stroke, doesnt sit very well with mission medical (somehow we snuck by it) haha oh goodness, sad is THE biggest understatement to how it really felt! how in THE. WORLD. was this in his plan?? i was SO happy! THE BEST THING EVER! i loved and wanted to do NOTHING MORE than message EVERYONE i saw on facebook ! haha oh my goodness i fought as hard as i could to stay, even agreeing to go to the doctors EVERYWEEK if i had to, butttt i guess this was HUGE turn #2 and OHHH the hardest one EVER. didn't He KNOW how much i loved my mission?? and that I wasn't ready?? im not quite sure I would've ever been ready to leave tho (; BUT how ABSOLUTELY AMAZING is it that we have the OPPORTUNITY to rely on and turn to the gospel of jesus christ when we have absolutely NO CLUE whats going to happen next?? that we have a SAVIOR and a father in heaven that so willingly GIVES it to us! as long as WE just use the CHOICE to have faith!! the unknown can be absolutely TERRIFYING, but why? whyyyy do we let it? coming home was HANDS DOWN the hardest thing i finally had to agree to let go of, but i AT LEAST tried to leave the mission convincing everyone that i got attacked by a dog butttt i guess health concerns will work too (; i'm not really sure what's next BUT i'm so so excited to figure it out! maybe getting the my little pony bandaids and stickers with suckers every visit at the doctors haha there's a reason behind EVERYTHING! everysingle little thing. 9 months ago i was so good at the fake smile, just trying to pretend i was happy! instead, really just confused, having absolutely NO clue what i was doing. just someone that had absolutely zerooooo self worth or the knowledge and truth of the fact that I DO have a savior that died for me, a father in heaven who's love is unconditional and could NEVER change. to finally feeling REAL happiness and true joy. the difference of a fake vs real smile. OF COURSEEEE the Gospel of jesus christ of latter day saints is what did it, still is doing it and forever WILL do it KNOWING and GAINING my own testimony. my own true witness of the book of mormon, another testament of jesus christ! OHHH IT'S JUST SO GOOD! THEY'RE SO GOOD. HOW in the world did I get lucky enough to serve 9 months?? I later found out that there was NO way I should've even been able to serve a mission with that heart haha but of course he makes the "impossible" possible ! I was supposed to be a disciple of jesus christ wearing his name on my chest everysingle day for 9 months for a reason, learning just how possible it was to find GENUINE happiness and a love for the gospel that really cant be put into words. He sent me out knowing I would only serve 9 months! TWO things i learned in ohio out of ohhhh SO so many. 1- I am THE most prideful person. i had NO clue how you reassigned missionaries did it! going home with NO choice! I tried SO hard to try and just bring His will down to meet mine. reaching to him but bringing my hand back down half way trying to decide if i REALLY wanted to take his. oh my goodness, meet. his. will. give him every possible thing you have. i promise you hes just waiting! SET THE PRIDE DOWN !!!!!! 2 - you see, in ohio there are people called hoosiers and that is one of the amazing attributes i attained while being there (; haha oh my goodness I just love this gospel more than I could ever ever ever put into words. I. love. my. mission. more than literally anything and wouldnt take it back for the world ! The things I have learned, the amazing people I have met, never would I EVER change a thing. I'm SO SO IMMENSELY grateful that I had the opportunity to see and experience the AMAZING changes, opportunities and blessings the gospel has to give. NOTHING makes me happier thank you thank you thank you to the ocm and everysingle ocm missionary for the best 9 months of my life EVERYSINGLE one of you are there for a reason! you have the most amazing christlike spirits and THE most amazing desire to serve EVEN if it's hard sometimes ( there TRULY is no greater mission SO to all you amazing and lucky missionaries just starting, wherever you are! they're NOT kidding when they say it feels like a dream. It goes by in a LITERAL blink of an eye. to the point i'm so confused why people get excited to see me because I swear I just saw them yesterday haha JUST. DO. IT. Set your dang pride down and GIVE IT EVERYTHING you have because oh my goodness I promise you it will be more worth it than you could ever see right now but you WILL! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this gospel and LOVE everysingle one of you! PLEASE PLEASE just know you are where you are at this time for a REASON. just keep going thank you for reading this if you did (; loveeeeee kassidy